Hold me close so i can be content...

It's amazing how you can try and try to do something over and over and over again but the doors just don't fly open like you want them to. blah blah. Gosh I'm sorry guys but it is really hard for me to understand God ways. I want to I really do. I really do want what His best is for me, but many times, probably because I'm not focusing on Him, I keep reaching for what I want and things just don't work out. My prayer is this.... That God in all his wisdom would just give me a better discernment of people. I just want people to be honest with me that's all I ask. NO CRAP! Just the truth! Especially if I ask for it face to face. I hate ending days like this. I'm up..... up..... up.... doing great.....blahhhhhhhh. And there it is something hits you that you did not expect. And it's something that you've really been thinking about lately. The "TON OF BRICKS" falls on you and it could have been dodged if only someone could just be brutally honest. Well that was definitely a rant. Sorry! I know this. God is still more important than any stupid thing like this and I should just brush it off. He will guide me if I ask so I will wait it out. I will ask for His best in my life. That is what I desire.(I just realized how many details you are probably missing in this rant.... )